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Attention: the first report on the effectiveness of the new “see-through-clothing” screening techniques at airports has just been released.
Year-to-date statistics on Airport screening from the Department of Homeland Security:
Terrorist Plots Discovered 0
Grandma Packin’ Heat 1
Transvestites 133
Hernias 1,485
Hemorrhoids 3,172
Enlarged Prostates 8,249
Breast Implants 59,350
Natural Blonds 3
Amazing! I feel much safer now!
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